Sauna Drama

     Well let’s see. Life has been a little strange lately as Spring is more or less settling in. The teachers and students are brimming with excitement in anticipation of the summer holiday. I am no exception. My trip back to America is drawing closer and I am looking forward to the company of my loved ones, delicious varied food, and my Motherland. Say what you will about America and its positive and negative aspects, I miss my patria. There is nothing like being away from home for an extended period of time to change your perspective on just about everything.

                Last Tuesday I was told that the family was planning a trip to the sauna. I was really excited about this because I only get to bathe about twice a month (I know, but I’m still remarkably unstinky) and the sauna is a real pore-cleanser. So on Tuesday afternoon the family was bustling around getting ready and I asked where the sauna was. In Zhezkazgan? In Satpaev? There are only a couple of options seeing as how our cities are isolated on the steppe. I was simply told that the sauna was “far.” When it was time to leave I went outside and there was a guy with a stripped out van. Marshrutkas they are called. We loaded all of our things into the van and picked up a few friends along the way.

                After everyone was loaded up we went to the store and my family and friends went shopping. They came back to the van with six loaves of bread, a case of beer, a bottle of vodka, and a kilo of rice. I knew right then that it was going to be a long night. Having the necessities, we loaded up the van and started driving… into the steppe. I had experienced off-roading like this on my infamous trip to Kyzlorda, but luckily we didn’t drive nearly as far. After about twenty minutes we pulled up to a nice wooden cabin by the river (they call it a river, but I’m almost positive it is a lake). It was actually a really beautiful setup. There was a big house with a large table, a nice-ish view of the steppe across the river, and a volleyball net. All in all there were about 20 people and we ate a lot and drank and ended up playing volleyball.

                I made friends with this guy who was a family friend who apparently works for some ministry (like Ministry of Defense, not church). We talked for awhile in Russian and joked a lot, it was good to just feel normal and not on display for once. I think our volleyball team won, but no one was keeping score so it was pretty light-hearted. Eventually the women went to the sauna and the guys went back inside to drink while waiting for our turn. Drinking is one of the biggest cultural iffy zones here. I hesitate to make blanket statements about either American or Kazakh drinking culture, but I would say on the whole most Americans can drink to a comfortable level and stop well before getting drunk. This is what I always try to practice when I choose to drink here because as much as I stand out, a drunk Drew would stand out even more. I have learned the proper techniques to prevent getting sloshed at guestings and it’s not too hard to refuse drinks if you are persistent enough and act like you mean business. Basically Kazakh culture is really insistent. When it comes to food and drinking you are always being implored to take more. As Jamie put it, the appearance of being hospitable is more important than being comfortable. Being disgustingly full is better than being delightfully sated and being drunk is better than having a buzz on. Can’t fault anyone, it’s just the way things are.

                So I drank a couple beers and called it quits (it was Tuesday after all) but my companions proceeded to get pretty hammered all around. We went into the sauna and had a good ol’ sweaty, naked time. After the sauna we hung out in the antechamber and chatted. Then I ate some horse and shashlik and started feeling a little sleepy so I went to one of the rooms and napped for about an hour. I was woken up and everyone was clamoring about and hurrying to get everything on the bus. I was slightly disoriented and so I grabbed my flip flops I had worn in the sauna and was assured that all my other things had already been loaded into the bag. I got in the van, crowded with 15 drunk Kazakhs and people were at various stages of revelry. One woman wouldn’t stop singing, one man wouldn’t stop shouting, and one women… well she wouldn’t stop crying. I looked over at one of our family friends at one point and realized he was wearing my spare set of boxers. Those are now his.

                We dropped everybody off and eventually went home. Getting out the van I slipped and sprained my ankle a little and lumbered into the apartment around midnight. Somewhere in the chaos I lost my Puma’s. The steppe is just not kind to those shoes. Luckily I have another pair (albeit not nearly as comfortable) to last me until I can buy new ones in the States. All in all it was one of the more crazy nights of my life. Kazakhstan never ceases to amaze.

                On another note my birthday is in a couple of weeks and I am traveling to help out another volunteer with a cultural camp thing for her village. A bunch of great people will be there and it will be good to celebrate my birthday with friends I don’t get to see too often. Also it will be Cinco de Mayo and I have been promised tacos.

                I got a package from my parents which had an E-book reader and an amazing Coheed and Cambria concert set package. Coheed is basically the best music group ever so if you don’t know about them you might want to educate yourself. The ebook reader has also changed my life. Welcome to the future. Thanks Mom and Dad!

This entry is officially dunzo.

Yours Drewly